I Can Eat Anything Anywhere You Go...

Two summers ago, she said she was tired of cooking. She had taken it upon herself to cook an evening meal for the 3 of us. I don't blame her, hell if I was 85 I wouldn't want to cook either anymore. I would buy the food, plan the menu and she cooked. So I took over the cooking, she would do the dishes afterwards. Why are there so many dishes? " use the dishwasher mother." Then we were banned from using the dishwasher because it used too much water. ( Okay I pay for the water and the dishwasher was in my house.) This dishwasher doesn't run properly, it just runs and runs and runs... Okay Mother. I started planning the meals, cooking the food and NOW I'm doing the dishes or having the teenager help with the dishes part. What would you like to eat mother? Anything you fix.. Well that's not exactly true. Pork chops are too tough, she chews and chews. Hamburger helper, Manwich, Baked Beans, macaroni and cheese, corn,
turkey burgers, the list grows.
After her kidney surgery in February, her taste buds must have been removed as well. She doesn't like BBQ, she doesn't like Chinese, she doesn't like Greek, Mexican she hates, she loathes Cracker Barrel ( a restaurant.) Salads, Fried Chicken and Potato/Leek Soup are about it. Tonight I come in from taking her to the Dr, put on potatoes to make potato salad, heat up her FRIED CHICKEN, saute cooked green beans with garlic, make her a lettuce salad and she asks as always " Can I help? "
Nope there isn't room for the two of us. " Well you never want my help." Last night I asked her to wash lettuce and she said she doesn't like washing lettuce. I've worked alone in the kitchen since I was early married, and have become used to doing things myself. Dinner's ready, come sit down Mother.. I don't want to sit down. Here put this on the table, " OK."
As I'm fixing dinner, I am doing dishes because she doesn't like doing the dishes, has severe back pain and she needs to not stand up. After dinner is over, the teen puts everything in the dishwasher and nothing is to be finished, and still she makes water to wash what???? NOTHING? There is nothing to wash mother.. "YOU EXCLUDE ME FROM EVERYTHING." Could it be I was trying to do things to help you Mother? " YOU THINK I HAVE NO SENSE TO DO ANYTHING." Could it be that I don't want you to have to stand up and wash dishes? "YOU JUST DONT WANT ME TO DO ANYTHING, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON DOWN THE PIKE."
No thanks for dinner, no thanks for planning dinner, no thanks for doing the dishes, no thanks for working all day and taking her to the dr.
Please don't think I will get stars in my crown. I don't want a crown of stars. ...

Again and Again...

If you talk ugly to your Nana, about your Nana or in front of your Nana, I will not take you to the ballgame. Eye rolling, sighing heavily and then she slips, the comments come rolling out. Call your father. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO a fate worse than death, being seen with her father, but of course she never learns that I mean what I say. Instead of being upset that I didn't eat dinner, so I wouldn't have to " potty " at the ballgame, Instead of being upset about putting her father out at the last minute, she is still worried about her outfit. She spent approximately 3 hours this past week worrying about what she was wearing each and everyday to school. It was homecoming week, and everyday was a special dressing day. Past,Future,Present. Spirit Day. Character Day. Tacky Day. Opposite Day.
If she spent as much time being nice to her Grandmother or doing her homework or studying she would be making straight A's and enjoying her Grandmother more.
When teenagers get to a certain age they should remember somethings by themselves, but it appears they revert to toddlerhood and so you must repeat everything you say over and over ... take out the trash, study, hang up your clothes, get out of the shower, take your medicine, study, quit talking so rudely, put your shoes away, pick up your lunchbox, put away your books, on and on... Just like a toddler ( except toddler's don't study.)
I'm aware it's a time of immense selfishness, but it doesn't make it any easier. I would like to know how this helps in later life. I for one, don't remember having this luxury and I think I turned out fairly okay.

Did you Study?

Do you need to study biology? NO... Do you need to study AP? NO... Do you have tests coming up you need to study for? NO... oh I have a test tomorrow but I know it all. Test Score 77 .. Obviously you do not know it all. Did you have a test in Biology? No.. Quiz score 63 .. Well you didn't ask if I had a quiz to study for did you? Well no.. Well you are grounded because you need to split hairs and won't study. Round and Round and Round we go, if we don't use the exact words then the whole thing is circumvented.
I told my friends that you grounded me they think it's ridiculous. I am a social outcast, no cell phone, no facebook, and now I am grounded. Best party of the year and I can't go. No you can't.
New Week- Do you need to study Biology? No. Do you need to study AP? NO..
Any tests coming up? No... we are starting new chapter. But I do have science fair project that is behind, research report on ocelots and who has time to read? Read a book?
Do we all have to "push" so hard to get our kids to do the right things when it comes to schoolwork? Should I just let her fail and go back to "general population?" Her father suggests we just let her sink, but then he doesn't live here, he doesn't push her to do work, he doesn't even know what her grades are when she gets them.
Being in the middle of 87 year old and a budding 15 year old, is not the most enviable position to be in at the moment.
No wonder I have an eye twitch .. LOL

Patience is a Virtue

Patience is a Virtue... I don't remember who taught me that, except I am sure I've heard every idiom every uttered from someone's mouth or text. Even the ones they attribute to Socrates. I think he went to school with my mother. I have spent countless hours in doctor's offices listening patiently to the Dr.'s explaining what is wrong with my mother, what can be remedied, what needs to be done, what cannot be fixed, what might happen, what will happen, what to expect, what to think about, and what to learn about exploring on the internet. Today we visited the oral surgeon, where 3 months ago, she was examined for a " spot " in her mouth. She has said repeatedly that the Dr. did NOT look into her mouth, did NOT see the spot that he was supposed to see. Told the nurse today what she said, and of course I got in trouble. Ever feel like you are 10 when you are actually 51? It's not really a good feeling, and getting a tongue lashing while waiting in a room for a Dr., isn't the ideal spot either. Well he came in smiling and she said after he left, I know that nurse told him what you said and see he was laughing at us. I said not us! lol ... uhmmm
I have learned patience, but I haven't learned yet to keep my mouth closed, but I am working on it. I promise I will do better.
or not...

Where is my stuff?????

Last weekend was my mother's grandson's wedding. The 2nd one. He had gotten married at the courthouse in July. This was a wedding for the " family. " .. After stewing for weeks the saturday before the wedding arrived. Mother wanted me to do her hair, her nails and she wanted to get a new jacket. Just one particular jacket. She never shops anymore, she doesn't walk well enough, won't get a wheelchair and refuses to use her walker inside the stores. We got the jacket, she even purchased a new necklace, and the almost 15 year old got a new dress. Home to do hair. " if you make me look stupid I'm going to change it," I've been doing her hair for special events for 6 years now. She likes the hair.. Okay mother... Nails next, lovely color but " why does it take so long? " I have things I have to do... and ends up sitting in the chair for 3 hours after they have dried. So the evening comes, she is getting things in order. Comes into the den and in a panic says ... " I CANNOT FIND MY PANTS," okay I'm coming.. next I hear, " I CANNOT FIND MY MONEY, I USED IT TODAY AND HAVE TO REPLACE IT FOR THE TRIP," okay I'm coming mother. Next yes you guessed it... " I CANNOT FIND MY WALLET OR MY DIAMOND RING," ...
Found it all. The pants were on the hanger on the door knob behind the new jacket, the wallet was on a night table, and the money was tucked away in the shoe holder on the door where it was hidden last. The diamond ring was in the jewels on the vanity table top where it lives. All was calm...
Next morning we get up to go to the wedding.. 166 miles away.. She's been up since 3 am well you can sleep in the car. NO WAY I have to pay attention to the road. We get to the wedding, realizing all the fluffing, polishing, and new jacket was for moot, we were in redneck hell.
Dementia has a way of making you lose things in plain sight, this is a daily occurance for us, and stress causes it to be worse. But it was amusing for her the next day and she did laugh at the lost pants.
I love her.