FLUFFY?

Going to the movie, last week... "Morning Glories" .. Can't talk out loud in the movie Mother. "Okay, I know that."  Midway through the movie Mother turns to granddaughter what did they say? SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH says granddaughter.. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yourself says Grandmother.. Both talking out loud.  Hilarious, till Mother turns to me and says "Did they say PUFFY?"  I whispered and said, "NO they said fluffy!" .. she said " WHAT?" I said " FLUFFY!"   she said " OH, FLUFFY!" thanks lol ...
yes thanks mom.. talking out loud anyway ... lololol

Our Last Trip

Look out North Carolina here we come!  Made the mistake of telling mother about the trip far to far in advance. She stewed, fretted, swore she wasn't going, etc. She cannot stay home alone. She doesn't know 911 to call, her son's number immediately, she cannot think on the spur of the moment.  She doesn't even take her meds, we lay them out for her day by day and her granddaughter gives her the nightly meds every night.
I helped her pack on Thursday afternoon, Friday morning she swore she had nothing packed and was packing stuff in our suitcase, because she didn't remember that her stuff was packed.  I didn't know this till later.  We set off and had a gps I had borrowed.  Everytime the GPS was silent for any length of time, mother would say " she doesn't like us," " why isn't she talking to us?" " I am ready to hear her talk again,".... If we get stuck in traffic, the response is " why is there so much traffic?" " because it's rush hour mother.", "why can't you get in another lane?", " I think we need to move somewhere else on the road," over and over and over. Unfortunately, if you answer snippy to any of these oft repeated ( and I mean every 5 minutes) questions, then she gets mad and stops talking.  Just like the "kids in the backseat," how much longer? when will we get there? She cannot read her eyes are too bad to read in the car, she won't nap, she feels she has to watch the road.  A trip that should have taken 6 hours, took 9 and by the time we got to the hotel she was so disoriented, she was trying to open coffee in the bathroom of the hotel thinking it was candy. She was talking nonsense.  She didn't sleep well, and was just not well.  The day of the wedding, we got ready and went to the wedding, 1 hour into the reception she was ready to go, not understanding we had driven 9 hours to come to one of my oldest, dearest friends daughter's wedding.  WE ARE HAVING CAKE Mother!!
She said she didn't care about cake she wanted to go to the hotel.  We got our cake and left. Sighs... She told the Bride we had driven 12 hours to get there.. LOL  We went back to our hotel and left early the next morning after switching hotels because the first one was filthy ( but that is another story.) Coming home it took her 3 days to recup and we have decided that was her last trip, other than overnight in Atlanta.  It is a shame, but it just takes too much out of her. Disorientation, fretting, worrying, is not worth it.

INSOMNIA!

I love to sleep. period.  But I like to sleep when it's time to sleep. I do enjoy naps on the odd day off from work, they are really not enjoyed as much as they should be by a large number of people. They think they will be frowned upon if they "admit" they like to nap. I do it proudly.  When I can't sleep at night because I've had a nap in the day I accept it. But when I cannot sleep at night because of  menopause I am not happy!! God's plan for women to have babies I agree with, God's plan that women have periods for how many years, and then have to go through menopause is not funny.  Menopause is in red because it makes me angry, makes me moody, makes me HOT! and messes with my sleeping.  I accept the symptoms but I am not liking them.  My family is tired of me all of sudden saying OHHHH IT'S HOT! turn on the FAN! turn down the AIR! and of course I throw off the covers up to 6 times a night.  Turn the covers back, and then doze off, wake up cold, and then cover back up.... hour and half later off go the covers and the whole process is repeated.  I guess the question I need to ask is how long does this last and can I make it through without actually wanting to kill someone in my house, that doesn't understand how out of control you can feel. It is really just like PMS  but with more HEAT,  and INSOMNIA!
I think I am going back to bed!  Good thing I am off work now and can sleep in, otherwise,  I would be much grumpier than I am already lol.

Perhaps this will work???

The stress of the memory disappearing is very hard on all of us. It's hard on me because I have just told her something 10 minutes ago, and if she wasn't really paying attention or listening intently, it's gone.  Explaining insurance benefit papers, explaining bank statements, explaining how things work, i.e. phones are exhausting. I purchased a new phone for her on Thursday. The old phone was a cordless phone with an on and off button. The buttons were very close to each other and her fingers rarely hit the right button. She cannot see the GREEN ON and the RED OFF buttons, because of her failing eyesight.  Frustration on her part was high when she used the phone, because she said she couldn't see to call people or frequently got the wrong number. The numbers in her phone book that I filled in are too small to read she complains.  So I bought her a desk phone with BIG NUMBERS and you just pick it up and lay it down to end the call.  Does this please her? No! She doesn't like to admit she can't use the cordless phone, can't admit someone thought of her and her life would be easier.  By the time you get done explaining she has forgotten the first part of the explanation and you must start over... Comprehension levels are low.  We watch movies and she loses the plot as it moves along. Only the most mundane movies are good ones for her.  She used to love mysteries on TV but she cant follow the story line and gets the characters get confused. " who is that? what are they doing? why are they there?"   I feel badly for her she doesn't remember movies, books or people. She cannot talk on the phone coherently because the words just don't come to her when she needs them.. She can't remember who she was calling if you interrupt her. She cannot finish a sentence if you interrupt her train of thought. It's not easy for her to endure. Course the 15 1/2 isn't patient either. She has her own issues with pms and gets frustrated when her grandmother won't let her help her. She wants to keep her safe and out of trouble and make things easier but mother sees it as taking her independence. She sees it as someone taking the only things that she is still capable of doing away from her. She doesn't do her own medicine anymore, she doesn't know what she takes or when.
So we went to the dr this week and he made a great suggestion. She doesn't believe us often when we say things happen or when we say we told you this previously.  She gets very angry when we insist that yes we did. The Dr. suggested her to write things down and we added a date to things so that she will know that the event happened.  So far we have written 4 things and she writes them, dates them, and they will be kept on a legal pad, so when we have a dispute she can refer to the list. I hope it helps.  Nothing contributes more to all of our frustrations than this issue.. sighs

When am I going to get a haircut?

My hair needs cutting and I need a perm. Okay Mother, I will call and make the appointment. I don't want to go where I went the last time, she got my back wet and she left me sitting. Where do you want to go? I want to go somewhere that costs $50 for a perm. No where in town charges that anymore, and that lady was willing to keep your price down.  You don't even know how I want my hair! You have worn your hair the same way for 20 years. I can't do all those little curls in the back everyday. You have a perm Mother, you wash it and pick it and go. You don't have a clue how I wear my hair. You have worn this style for 20 years.  I have only lived with you how long? You have been here 6 years. Then you couldn't know what I did with my hair before that..  HUH? I've known you my whole life MOTHER how can I not know what you have done with your hair? I really try and get along with my mother, but her memory and her coherence are not doing well at the moment. She says things that don't correlate with the converation at hand, and they are either paranoia induced statements or fantasy sayings. Have you called and made me an appointment? Well I thought you wanted to go somewhere else?  Well if you can't find somewhere else then I will give her one more try.  So off we go to the stylist.  I check on Mother after a hour and half into the perm, she needs to go to the bathroom. She stands up and her back is wet and this time even her PANTS are wet!!! I am not sure why this girl gets her wet but it happens everytime. Well long story short the perm went up 5 dollars and she has it and whether she will like it tomorrow, I am willing to bet a good amount that no it won't look good in the morning!! That's how the dementia ball bounces.

Christmas Shopping

Christmas Shopping ... Can you help me pick things out for all our relatives?  Sure ... gift cards? Okay but I would like them to  open things with some of them. So we go out my first day off from work which is a Saturday, the LAST Saturday before Christmas. But I am off the whole next week? no good let's go now!!!! Well now what were we getting my son? well you decided on a card and thought we would get a basket with gourmet food things. Okay.. now what were we getting his kids. Well we are getting the new parents baby stuff. Okay.. now what about the others?  Well we had decided on a bowl with nachos and salsas. Okay. now what am I going to get my son and his wife? Are you sure that is what they want ? Do they eat there? Now what about the new parents.  The stress from actually trying to remember what we were buying for whom dealt her a low blow. She was just not doing well with it.. It had her loosing sleep, it had her walking in circles, it had her questioning me over and over and over and over what had we gotten, what had we still to purchase what we needed to finish over and over. I feel bad for even suggesting to buy things that they could open.  I made a list fur her to follow, what to buy, then mark it off when its purchased, with the price paid ... and what to finish. No good at all.
Next Christmas everyone gets a gift card or I go shopping and bring it all back for her to give out.  She does give my daughter a bear every christmas and we did find one of those without trouble.
Happy New Year.. Dementia is steadily creeping along ...