Happy Birthday My Darling Daughter!

Happy Birthday my darling 15 year old. I know you are a social outcast. I know you are deprived culturally.  I know you don't own a cell phone, a driver's permit,  internet access, or a facebook account. I realize you aren't allowed to wander alone with friends aimlessly through malls, movie theaters and wherever you might just want to wander.  I know you have to be escorted to events and picked up by people that I actually know.  I know you feel your life is just not as it should be and that I am the meanest mother on the earth.
Guess what? you will survive this and you will love me again wholeheartedly when you reach the other side of this me time in your life.
What you don't realize is that I love you more than life, love you unconditionally even when you speak in tones not fit for dogs and tell me repeatedly that you hate me. I waited 14 years to have you and I take my job as a  mother seriously.  One of the reasons I divorced was to make sure you learned that a loveless exsistence is not necessary and that love can be found in different ways if it's not available in the regular way.  You don't know it but there isn't anything I wouldn't try and do for you if possible.
I know that your birthday was not spectacular by your friend's standards, but we did have fun. Cosmic bowling at 11pm and then to Steak and Shake afterwards was a good night. You received several cards, money and presents from friends and had lunch with three friends on your birthday. I bought you some very needed clothes for your birthday as well and we had dinner out at one of your favorite restaurants.
What disappoints me at this point in life, is that nothing is enough.  You are not happy with what you have, have received or might get later.  I feel I have failed to make you understand the basic thing in life, is that if someone has thought of you, then you are better off. Just because it is not EVERYONE you are expecting, some is better than none. Just because you don't have everything that everyone else has, doesn't mean you are deprived, or a loser. You have love and you will always have that from me.
I love you dearly, let's hope we survive the " ME " years without many more tears.
xoxoxox your mother

Don't You Think We Need a Man Around Here?

Don't you think we need a man around here? Don't you like men? " What do we need a man for Mother?" Well, just to do stuff and I want to hug one. Hug one???? You are 87 ... We go to the grocery stores and I catch her looking at men and staring and almost following them if they are handsome.  She stares at them, if they say hello, she smiles and says hello in her very seductive 87 year old voice.  My mother must be having a hormonal upswing. She has never voiced the fact that she " wants " a man . She was married to my father for 58 years when he passed away. He was the love of her life. Perhaps now after 9 years, she is ready? LOL .. I've read stories of late in llife loves, but I am not sure of anyone who is willing to take on someone with incoming dementia. Someone that might not be able to remember your name in the morning or why the hell you are there!!!
Course I would love to have a man in the house, one for me to whisper at night to, have to giggle with then she does something silly, and one to lean on, one to love and call my own. We could also use a handyman, cause face it working full time I rarely have time to do all the little things around the house that a man could instinctly know how to do in seconds.
Happy Thanksgiving Mother!
If I could find you a man, I would ! Right after I find myself one.

PMS and the Reluctant Teenager

She's about to be 15. She has only had one cycle and now full force gale winds hit, hurricane teenager strikes and she is off the chain, lost in PMS. Do you think maybe you are yelling your head off because you are having PMS ? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Do you think that huge zitus eruptus on your chin is because of PMS? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Can you quit yelling at your nana???? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Twenty times in one day I had to say what is the matter with you, quit picking on that old woman. NOOOOOOOOOO !!!! Do you have home work ? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! Do you want to jump off a cliff? LOL What is there to say. Course 3 days later, 3 headaches later, and 3 days of almost nonstop screaming she gets another cycle.
This will not happen again, she can go live with her father who doesn't want to even HEAR about a cycle and his daughter unless it has two wheels.
More the pity for him that it might just be what he needs to see the " real " world of teenagers. Thus far he has escaped this. We have been divorced 6 1/2 years and no constant irritation has gone his way.
Share and Share alike is what I say.. Right?

Hearing Aids?

Well the buzzing in my ears can be attributed to that concert where I stood about 3 feet away from Terrible Ted Nugent. Afterwards, I couldn't hear the rest of the night. I attended several very loud concerts. I attended alot of concerts that weren't so loud. Who doesn't wish they had seen Bruce Springsteen when it was $8.00 -- Elton John was $10.00 and he dressed in a duck suit! I saw alot of the greats of Rock and Roll but I am paying the price now. Although I have heard ( and read) buzzing and ringing in the ears can be attributed to diabetes, high blood pressure, and STRESS. Yes well I have all of those. All in control except for the STRESS.
Going to the dr and he says well you have significant hearing loss, if you want to hear while you are communicating with people you need hearing aids.
I'm 51, hearing aids are for the elderly, like the one I live with that is determined to rob me of the rest of my hearing by listening to the television turned sky high. So I can leave out the hearing aids when Im home alone and not communicating. I should wear ear plugs when my mother listens to television and its so loud the neighbors could hear it if we had the windows open. I should get a noise machine that " masks" noises that I hear in my head so I can sleep better at night.
Trust me, this is disappointing. One more thing that I don't want to consider or even deal with, but yet the buzzing in my ears is exhausting mentally.
Turn it down !!!!! Before you need hearing aids and you aren't out of high school yet! lol