Yelling...

Yelling, screaming, insults, bad words, cursing, threats, is not what I envisioned for my household after I got divorced.  I yell, my daughter yells, screams, almost curses but doesn't cause she knows she will get in trouble, mother yells, curses ( althought we never were allowed to think a curse word around her) and threatens.  The yelling starts between the two of them, soon as they lay eyes on each other morning, afternoon or night. I just cannot abide it, and yet I cannot control it.  I can't be here in the afternoons when my daughter gets home from school, and they are here alone. I can control it when I am here, but then it transfers to me from one of them. I understand my daughter being frustrated, it's very hard to be 17, selfish, and wanting life to be different, but it can't be because you have very certain restrictions.  Can't go away over night, can't be out late, must make sure nana has dinner, can't be truly spontaneous, can't always go to dinner when we want, etc.  She tries to help her Nana and she does alot for her, but her Nana sees it as trying to control her, make her less independent and fights like a wild woman.  Mother answers my daughter with a scream, with an insult last one was , " you should have been drowned in a pool of water when you were born."  She sputters, yells and almost cannot articulate at times she gets so angry.  I understand mother being frustated, her world is so much different than it was, she can't think, she can't remember, she can't see, she can't walk well, she is totally dependent on us for almost everything, including dialing the phone. Her independence is shredding before her eyes.   I yell to stop the two of them, that doesn't help. I feel really out of control and very very sad that our life has disintegrated into this kind of communication. It makes me go to my room instead of interacting with these two, I do this all the time even though I want to spend time with them, I cannot. I can't take the fighting,  alot of the time when I leave the area they tend to settle down, sometimes not. I get calls at work in the afternoon, SHE DOES THIS, I DO NOT I hear in the background... sighs..
The time is coming for a change and it will have to be sooner than later. We all deserve a better life.