Time has passed..

November 8th my mother was moved from my house to her new home. Assisted living, 2 hours away.  It's been a long month for both of us. She is angry, homesick, more confused, did I mention angry? Yes it's all normal for someone with dementia to have a set back when they have been totally moved from their enviroment and everything they " know" as normal.  She talks out of her head, repeats the things she is angry about constantly, sits and just stews about the hurts. She has stopped talking to my brother, he has stolen her money and won't give her any. She refuses to go to church with him, she refuses to talk to him or his wife at all now. She won't go anywhere they want her to go, won't do anything for them.  I am sorry that she has imagined that he has wronged her, and that their relationship is not good at this point. But he has ruined our relationship as well, over this move. He has accused me of stealing from my mother, he assumes he doesn't need to share anything going on with her, he doesn't let me know what is going on, hasn't read the 8 pages I printed with her ailments, details about her life, her surgeries, her dr appt's needed, etc.  I know I am told he is taking care of her now, but to call her on the phone and hear her talking only about her anger with him, and what he has done, imagined or not, just hurts my heart. I cannot help her, soothe her, or give her peace of mind. I went to see her yesterday and she just talks tight-lipped about her relationship with him. I tried to reason with her about seeing her great grandson, and how that she can only do this through her son. She doesn't care.  Her dementia has allowed her thoughts to flow from her mouth, even when they are inappropriate. She is in a good place, it's clean, but she fights being part of the society. She refuses to go to some of the activities, she thinks people are stealing her clothes. She believes her clothes are rags and that I brought her used clothes. She even said I brought her mens pants! 
My heart hurts that  I can't visit more often. My brother didn't want me to come last week on Sunday, since that is the " only day" he takes her out to eat, to church and to see her great grandson. So in spite of it being the only day I could go that week, I didn't go.  Of course, she is angry with him and didn't go. Did he call me and say come on up and see her? No, just a five minute call is too much.  Our relationship, mine and his, has deteriorated so much that I won't be spending Christmas day with my family.  I am hurt and it doesn't seem to matter.  I have told him this, and nothing is worth fixing for him. 
Merry Christmas....