Today is February 16, 2013. I haven't seen my mother in over a month. I have been sick several times since Christmas, and we have had obligations that haven't let us get up to see her. Part of the trouble with living so far away. It has to be a planned "day" adventure. My brother hasn't called me with updates, or news which is normal. My nephew's wife goes to see her frequently and takes her 3 year old son to see mother and I can only imagine how happy that makes her. My brother did accidentally call me last Sunday and if I hadn't asked how mother was, he wouldn't have said. I just totally do not understand how some people can be so indifferent, cold or non reacting to other peoples eagerness to be involved. It is as if we are not brother and sister, but perhaps just two acquaintances involved in taking care of this person that doesn't bind us together just that we have to take care of together. My brother did say after prompting that mother is getting worse, they say she's " contrary" well hell she's been "contrary" all of her life. Getting worse is part of dementia, oh wait, they don't know about what dementia causes or affects. My sister in law still refers to it as Alzheimer's and it is not. This is old age senile dementia which the others in her family had as well. There is a fine line, but it is different. He says she thinks he is her dad, maybe he looks like him I don't know. We have never seen a picture. I do know that after one year of taking care of my mother in an assisted living facility which does that count truly as " care?" they had to take a trip to Disney World to rest themselves or reward themselves for a difficult year in having to move mother once because she ran away (more to come later on this) or having to make so many phone calls. My sister in law did mention she had spent hours on the phone lol... lol lol yes you have to do this sometimes. But I did mention yes I knew how taxing it was to take care of her since she lived with me physically for 8 years and was with me 24/7 and I never took a trip to Disney World or was offered one minute of respite from the constant care she required. My daughter and I put our lives on hold, my daughter was 9 and she was 17 when her grandmother left. We lost many years of fun activities that we might have been able to enjoy together, but we did what we had to do. I was amused they had to go to the busiest place on earth at Christmas to relax. I told my sister in law please have a wonderful time you have earned it.  I spit afterward .. lol 
I am seeing my mother tomorrow, I do hope she will remember us, a month when someone is in the shape and place she is in, could make a huge difference. She will be 91 in May.