Your mother is in the hospital!

"Your mother has been in the hospital since Thursday," said the caller on Sunday. In the hospital and no one called me? "Well we told them not to " bother" you after those last calls about doing blood work and they called you at work." How can they be bothering me to tell me that my mother had been admitted to the hospital? This call from my brother who was in South Dakota on vacation (yet again with the vacation,) came to me in while I was spending 4 days in Florida. I was going home on this Sunday but still was horribly upset that I hadn't been notified from the home she lives in until this call. I had added my name to a card that my sister in law has taped to a cabinet door in my mother's room because for some reason she doesn't think I should be added to the list of call these people!
 Early Monday morning after driving home from Florida on Sunday, I arrived at the hospital to find my mother in the middle of her " sunset syndrome" symptoms. She was folding the sheet and folding the sheet, saying she needed to get out of the hospital and go to the grocery, go to the house, just go anywhere. She clearly wasn't coherent too much other to note that she, "loved that girl over there," which was her granddaughter Cody. She had been admitted with a bad UTI and pneumonia slightly in one corner of a lung. They had been evaluating her for aspiration, thinking that she might not be swallowing correctly. She had a swallow test done several years ago and needed THICKIT added to all of her drinks. She hated it. I spoke with a social worker who was trying to set up her transportation home that day, her nurse, and the physical therapist for speech that was trying to finish her evaluation on swallowing.
Everything was cleared up, she could go home. Not with a pureed diet because frankly no one wants to eat that crap. The aide came in to take her blood pressure, mother started screaming it was burning her arm and she hit the lady on the arm 4 times with her balled up fist and then took the ladies thumb and twisted it until I could manage to pull her arm off. She then looked at me and said DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL, and shit, shit, shit, shit.  I have mentioned before my mother never cursed in her undementia lifetime. We decided she should go home in the ambulance because I was worried about getting caught in traffic and how she might react being in just a car. The ambulance didn't have windows. We all arrived back at the home and I had a nice chat with the Admin. He shook his head in agreement with everything I had to say to him and even his fingers shook. LOL... I warned him mother needed more fluids, more changes to her depends and to be cleaned up better. She only has one kidney, UTIs were bound to happen more often to her if not kept up better. I also told him they had ALWAYS BETTER CALL ME, even if they called my brother and his wife. He assured me I would be put on equal footing(???) with them and be called from now on.
Of course she was asleep when we got in her room to check on her and we left. I called my brother after he got home on Wednesday and they had talked to the home but apparently didn't feel I needed to be updated. This is an ongoing problem. 
My niece is now in town from Arizona and she has a two year old daughter Cody and I have never been invited to meet. I stipulated we wanted to meet her and spend some time with her, so we have been invited to " lunch " to meet her. Once again, my sister in law has decided how much time and where we get to sit with this little child and " get to know her."  How can you get to know a kid at a table? 
My family isn't much of a family.