I have emailed my brother to ask him for help in finding an assisted living facility for our mother. I got a one sentence reply "Moving here at the present time would be hard finding doctors to attend her needs." Not I am sorry I can't help you, not I will be glad to find somewhere for her to live, not I am sorry you are having a difficult time, not I am aware you have a child to raise and it has reached a crisis point in your house. Just one sentence, not even his name typed on the reply. Am I wrong to feel just highly disappointed in the fact that my only brother, my mother's only other child, has just refused to help me? I have taken care of our mother for 8 years. He has helped me twice, once when I went on a choir tour with my daughter for 7 days he had her at his house, this past November my daughter was 16 and he came and stayed less than 24 hours in my house. I cannot begin to convey the hurt I feel at reading this one sentence. I explained it was reaching a crisis point, she is not happy here, and I need help. The facilities here are quite limited, the large amount of facilities up there is beyond belief. He is about to retire and therefore he and his wife have no intention of looking after his mother. While I can appreciate this fact, taking care of someone in your home 24/7, all the doctor appointments, errands, mood swings, dementia, anger, expectations, disappointments doesn't in any way compare to visiting someone in an assisted living facility. Pretty much all you do is go, check and leave.
I am profoundly sad at this point, and although I have always known my brother, me and his mother don't share the same intimacy level, it is still his mother as well. He is in control of her finances and assumes his quota of responsibility ends there. It does not. A highly involved Christian in his church should read his bible and understand he has a responsibility to his family, which includes his mother and his sister.
I am not expecting them to take her into their house, which is highly impractical considering they bought an unfriendly to elders house. Many steps, just one bedroom on the first floor, a dog that rules the basement level which has a bathroom and living area and bedroom.
All that comes to my mind now, is thanks for nothing.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment